According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, stress is defined as
a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc.
I have learned in the past few weeks that I am very stressed. Migraines I’ve suffered with for years aren’t really migraines, but tension headaches, caused by stressed.
Though when this diagnosis was made I was having a great deal of difficulty with both my children. Boy child was being a boy on the school bus, girl child was doing her very best to sabotage her grades, specifically math and came close to getting her first official F on her report card. This is very unlike my little honor roll student from elementary school. We have learned that Middle School is tougher than it looks. I know it would be much easier if she just did her homework (did I fail to mention she hadn’t turned in 6 homework assignments?).
All of this is happening while I am going to my doctor’s for the very first visit. The initial prognosis – high blood pressure, though according to my mom it’s not that high. I still have a ways to go to catch up with her.
What else did the doctor have to say? I’m obese. Yes, he was going by that darn BMI scale I have referred to in the past, and it’s not like it wasn’t anything I didn’t already know, but it always sounds so much worse coming out of the mouth of a stranger.
So after having a headache daily for 2 weeks, I opted to try to figure out what is causing me stress in order to avoid my tension headaches. This is so much easier said than done.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I want to control my children, I can’t. I cannot make girl-child bring home her homework, complete it and turn it in. Apparently she loses work completed in class even (see, she is truly special). I can’t make my son be silent on the school bus in a hope he doesn’t say anything he hears the other boys say even though he may not know what it even means, and get in trouble and be allowed to ride the bus (yes, Mom had to drive him and pick him up at school for an entire week).
I’ve resolved that my one co-worker is just not a nice person and I just have to deal with it and move on. The hard part with this is that when I become angry, I cry. I guess it makes me look weak but I am just trying to contain my own anger so I don’t say or so something that I shouldn’t. The tension in the office I work in is so thick you could cut it with a knife. And most people think it is from someone in particular in the room, but it’s not, it’s all the seemingly “nice” person to everyone in the company but me. I also think this has me on edge simply because I’ve never really had someone dislike me before. It’s a whole new world for me.
So lots of changes in store for me… I get to watch what I eat (more than just from the plate into my mouth) and exercise regularly (like the doctor prefers 1 hour a day for a minimum of 5 days a week – I’m getting 4 days at 50 minutes done presently and have lost almost 5 pounds in 2.5 weeks). I need to try to eliminate excess stress from my life, and to be at peace with the things in life I cannot change.
Wish me luck.
As for what I’m thankful for on this the second day of November…. I’m thankful for the friends I do have that make me smile even when they have no idea just how much it means at a specific moment.