Weeping Wednesday


Are you the type of person who when they get mad they cry?  I do.  And I’ve been having a really hard time with a co-worker that I share an office with and it seems like no matter what I do, it’s not good enough.  Last year I “ticked her off” because I listened to music in the office.  Many days no one would turn on music so when the silence in the office became too much by 10:30 or so I would turn Pandora on because the ticking of the clock drives me insane.

Well, now it drives me insane daily as I don’t ever turn the music on because I dare not rock the boat.  A month ago I was told that one of the essential oils that I use to alleviate my headaches (Past Tense) was making her sick, so despite it helping me with my tension headaches, I grinned and dealt with 2.5 weeks of headaches every day because again, I didn’t want to make her ill.

Today I was informed rather nastily that the Clary Calm I used for girly things was making her sick (I wasn’t using this before – and I only use it sparingly). She showed me her shaking hand because she is now in for a very long evening because my dab behind my ears and the dabs on my lower back made the office just intolerable for her.

I genuinely feel horrible that I have caused her discomfort in any way. But it is just the tone she said it all in, like I did this all on purpose.

Two weeks ago because I didn’t stop what I was doing and asked for a few minutes so I could finish a task with my job as I didn’t want to make an error and not drop everything to go over what she wanted to go over when I returned from lunch (I was already in the midst of a project when she asked for a moment of my time) anyhow she literally threw the papers at me and left the room. All because I asked if it could wait.

Has anyone else ever encountered a co-worker that you just don’t get along with?

So since the end of my work day I have been a weeping mess. Girly stuff I am sure is not helping. I guess for day 4 in my quest for being thankful for things I should be thankful for the ability to cry… because who knows what I would do without it.


Taking Pictures Tuesday

Day 3 of my 30 Days of Thankfulness – fun times with family – I’m so happy to be able to spend quality time with my favorite people in the world… at the Q for a Lake Erie Monsters game – and the kids got on the Jumbotron during the Dance Cam between periods!


Making Mountains Out of Molehills

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, stress is defined as

a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc.

I have learned in the past few weeks that I am very stressed.  Migraines I’ve suffered with for years aren’t really migraines, but tension headaches, caused by stressed.

Though when this diagnosis was made I was having a great deal of difficulty with both my children.  Boy child was being a boy on the school bus, girl child was doing her very best to sabotage her grades, specifically math and came close to getting her first official F on her report card.  This is very unlike my little honor roll student from elementary school.  We have learned that Middle School is tougher than it looks. I know it would be much easier if she just did her homework (did I fail to mention she hadn’t turned in 6 homework assignments?).

All of this is happening while I am going to my doctor’s for the very first visit.  The initial prognosis – high blood pressure, though according to my mom it’s not that high. I still have a ways to go to catch up with her.

What else did the doctor have to say?  I’m obese. Yes, he was going by that darn BMI scale I have referred to in the past, and it’s not like it wasn’t anything I didn’t already know, but it always sounds so much worse coming out of the mouth of a stranger.

So after having a headache daily for 2 weeks, I opted to try to figure out what is causing me stress in order to avoid my tension headaches.  This is so much easier said than done.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I want to control my children, I can’t.  I cannot make girl-child bring home her homework, complete it and turn it in.  Apparently she loses work completed in class even (see, she is truly special).  I can’t make my son be silent on the school bus in a hope he doesn’t say anything he hears the other boys say even though he may not know what it even means, and get in trouble and be allowed to ride the bus (yes, Mom had to drive him and pick him up at school for an entire week).

I’ve resolved that my one co-worker is just not a nice person and I just have to deal with it and move on. The hard part with this is that when I become angry, I cry.  I guess it makes me look weak but I am just trying to contain my own anger so I don’t say or so something that I shouldn’t. The tension in the office I work in is so thick you could cut it with a knife. And most people think it is from someone in particular in the room, but it’s not, it’s all the seemingly “nice” person to everyone in the company but me.  I also think this has me on edge simply because I’ve never really had someone dislike me before.  It’s a whole new world for me.

So lots of changes in store for me… I get to watch what I eat (more than just from the plate into my mouth) and exercise regularly (like the doctor prefers 1 hour a day for a minimum of 5 days a week – I’m getting 4 days at 50 minutes done presently and have lost almost 5 pounds in 2.5 weeks). I need to try to eliminate excess stress from my life,  and to be at peace with the things in life I cannot change.

Wish me luck.

As for what I’m thankful for on this the second day of November…. I’m thankful for the friends I do have that make me smile even when they have no idea just how much it means at a specific moment.

November 1st – My First of 30 Days of Thankfulness

Each year on Facebook I tend to post for 30 days the things for which I am thankful for in life.  This is a task that I find to be completely easy to do some days and other days I simply scratch my head and wonder what on earth I can think of to be thankful for today.

Today, my first day, is easy.  I am thankful for my children.  When I got married 12-1/2 years ago, I specifically told my husband I could care less if I had kids (leaning towards not wanting to have any as my husband already had a daughter).  Less than a month into our marriage and I was already expecting.  I never was so tired in all my life as I was with both of my pregnancies.  But once my daughter was born I can honestly say that she, now they, were the greatest thing I never knew I always wanted.

Are my kids frustrating…of course, they would not be human if they didn’t drive me a little crazy (more crazy than not), but I love them with every fiber of my being and would do anything for them. I am also pretty positive that this will not be my only post regarding my thankfulness throughout the month of November for my kids… but for day 1 it was the obvious choice.